The Games We Played

There were shadowy days in my first seven years, but you were there,
and it was sunny then.
The next seven brought many tears, and in three more,
you were back again.

And so for a while we had our days,
where we reveled in the games we played.
I know you now as more than friend.
Who could have known when that would end.

Ten years this week. It seems so fast.
Which goes to show that nothing lasts.
You'll not be back, but it's ok.
I still revel in the games we played.

Fireside

When I am here without the sights or sounds of the days,
all the memories gather around me to keep me company.
Even on the evenings when I wish to be alone,
they stop in for a nice fireside chat.

They remind me about the days gone by and the things that were said and done.
Even though I may wish to forget these things, they make sure to remind me again.
Though I wish sometimes that they would find another place to stay,
I never disregard them and they're never turned away.

They never seem weary from their travels, for they tend to stay up late into the night.
Even when I am trying to sleep, they continue speaking to me and throwing logs onto the fire.
It seems a little rude.
Occasionally, my dreams take note of what my memories have to say.

They come to me the next day asking questions, interrupting my work,
and making me wonder about tomorrow.
Some days I cannot get anything done because of all of the noise.
The memories always gather in the evening to let me know.

I hope that someday we can all sit down together and enjoy the days.
Until then, I will continue searching for the answers.

October Twenty Eight

On October twenty eight,
Nineteen Sixty Nine,
I was born around noon,
in the Scorpio sign.


Since then I have been many places
and I have seen many things.
I have known many people
and the thoughts that they bring.


I have felt every emotion
ever known to man.
I have travelled the spectrum
and now understand.


The pride and the joy,
selfishness and greed,
happiness, anxiety,
sadness and grief.


Bipolar disorder.
Manic, depressed
King of the world
much more and much less.

Lustful and lonesome.
hungry and tired.
Boastful and boresome.
Weary and wired.


Workaholic and lazy
genius and dumb
rich man and poor man
nervous and numb.


I have been all of these things
and I am not ashamed
after thirty eight Octobers
I'm still the same.

A Face in the Crowd

If I could lose my reflection
I might find a new direction
but I've never seen myself
as a face in the crowd.

where the stories are boring
and there's nothing worth knowing
it turns me on to turn it off
or maybe turn them down

I'm pretending to listen
to a point that is missing
and so I've never seen myself
as a face in the crowd.

And the life that I ordered
falls beyond the social borders
where often times I find myself
as a face in the crowd.

Another Summer

What is this hollow? Why is it here?
What are these echos, these memories, these tears?

Twenty years have passed me by
much faster than the ones before.
I was always looking for something
but my blind eye rarely saw the good in anything.

I have loved and I have lost. I have held to hope at any cost.
Circles and cycles and roundabout ways
countless spent hours counting the days

hoping to find
something
of happiness.

Veneer

A man collects his treasures.
Treasures collect their dust.
He worries for his tarnished image
as if it too were golden.

The staff by which he measures
serves also as his crutch
supporting him and his vanity
serving only to embolden.

The arrogance of ignorance
feeds on foolish pride
and impotent importance
of which Solomon foretold.

Man dedicates and decorates with treasures
and desecrates his life
by polishing his image
as if it too were gold.

What does it mean?

softer than a nightglow
stiller than a shadow
I wonder who's in Winslow.
What does it mean?

You said that you were
which now seems absurd
I was unsure
what does that mean?

You're still on that boat
S.S. That's all she wrote
There's a hole in my coat.
What does that mean?

It's been a really long time
since I had my own mind
I'd wallow in some moonshine.
What does that mean?

from fairy tales to pearls
you never let a day go by
and so 'always' forever lies
beyond the stillness of your heart

the chill that I felt
would prove to never melt
we were always with somebody else
what does that mean?

it was not for reason or for rhyme
when I called you out on to the line
and your drama seemed much less sublime
in light of a broken spell.

I wonder if you ever cast a spell.

I wonder if you ever will...

I'm Burning

Winner in 2006 – 2007 League for Innovation Student Literary Competition

A bushel of the finest from the serpent tree,
Will never satisfy my hunger—only feed the fire in me.

My body longs for rest but my mind never tires,
Of tales from the tongues of times or the quest for promethean fire.

Cursed with such a blessing, the truth has set me free.
But wisdom has stolen my patience and knowledge is my disease.

It burns and hurts; this raging fire within.
Indulgence barely snuffs it out and it returns again.

Does everyone think this way or is it only me?
Truth and knowledge bought and sold me into this slavery.

Insatiable appetite, unquenchable thirst,
Incurable addiction, unbreakable curse.

Set me free, let me go.
Give back to me what I used to know.

Your progression of my possession made me change my mind.
Here I am without me and all I left behind.

Arrogance, pride, and pomposity were the order of the day.
I could be a monarch of monstrosity, but my heart is in the way.

There's no one here to help me.
There's no one here to help.
There's no one here.
Help me.

I'm burning.

The Hallway Light

The light came rushing down the hall to tell me of your fate.
Many years passed in this night and the morning could not wait.
The same light in the hallway brought me comfort way back when.
Charged with sweeping out the darkness—now it sweeps it in.
The numbing news affects me, but it cannot be undone.
There's so much sorrow for the circumstance of a final setting sun.
This house of tears that are wept for you is not unlike your own,
Where in the past the hallway light had let other fates be known.
And years from now the hallway light will surely shine again,
To sweep me out to darkness and to sweep me in.

Ode To My Brother

Recognized in 2006 – 2007 League for Innovation Student Literary Competition

Remember when we waited for the news that school was closed because of the snow?
We hoped for it and wished there would be ice on our street.
We wanted to try out that old sled.
We tried to tie it to your bike.

Remember the night we stayed up waiting for the year to change to 1980?
We were excited to see the change of a whole decade.
Together we wished, hoped, and dreamed for better days ahead.
We made hot chocolate that night.

Remember how I used to tag after you and your friends?
I couldn't catch your football or run as fast—even when you were after me.
I was excited to be with you—especially when you weren't after me.
I always wished for more of your time and hoped to catch your football someday.
I wonder if you’ve ever known that.

Remember when we broke the flower pot in the living room?
I told you I couldn't catch your ball and in the midst of our commotion,
It flew right into that flower pot in what seemed to be slow motion.
We hoped momma wouldn't notice when she got home.
I wished you hadn't thrown that.

Remember the cat that came in the open window the night we were watching T.V.?
We brought the dog in to chase it out. Boy, that didn't work!
I’ve not seen a cat climb curtains like that since.
That wasn't what we were hoping for on that day.

Remember when we were sent to our rooms and weren't supposed to talk?
We wrote messages on paper planes and sailed them down the hall to each other.
We hoped we wouldn't get caught.
We were already in trouble anyway.

I remember many things about our wishes, hopes and dreams.
I fly a different sort of plane with fewer hopes it seems.
More decades have changed and the days seem to crawl.
There are no flower pots or curtains and I still can't catch a ball.

I work when it snows and the ice always seems too thin.
I wish that I had more hopes and dreams these days as I did back then.
I hope that someday my wish will come true.
I dream about yesterday. How about you?